In 2002 I was in a relationship with a man that I took for granted. There is no excuse for my behaviour but let’s just say that I was in a dark place. Anyway, he was the most considerate person that I had know, he loved me unconditionally and my repayment? I ended the relationship! We remained friends although I had no idea of how I had hurt him and that his love for me still remained.
Fast forward 2 years and one day I bumped in to him in my street. My eyes lit up. Where had he been? What was he up to? Where did these feelings come from that stirred within me like an F5 tornado ripping through Kansas City?… I ran to him. Suddenly, a penny dropped and I realised how much I had taken him for granted. I had always assumed he would forever be a part of my life without ever giving a second thought to his own and seeing him out of the blue made me see just how wrapped up I had been in my own life. I hadn’t even noticed that he had not been around me, yet here he was, a grin from ear to ear and awaiting my approach. ‘This is it’ I thought, ‘I have to tell him how I am feeling even if it means nothing to him, I need to get it off my chest and try and make amends for the disregard that I had bestowed upon him a few years back’.
‘Ask him how he is’ I thought, ‘Don’t just blurt it out’…so I did. He told me how he had a baby on the way and a mortgage and I smiled, congratulated him and wished him the best all while feeling an ever growing sickness deep within me. ‘It’s what I get, he deserves to be happy and appreciated in a way I never even offered him’ I thought, ‘how could I tell him all this? I couldn’t, wouldn’t’. I loved him and to love someone is to do right by them so I never let on how I wanted to collapse to the ground at hearing his news….I set him free!
In 2006 he was sentenced to IPP with a 17 month tariff. When I heard the news I was devastated, although, I had no idea the severity of what an IPP was.
Whenever I seen his mum I would always ask after him only to be told the same thing “he is still waiting to be transferred to a prison that facilitates the courses that he needs to complete before he can be considered for parole. They are delaying him constantly!”